Have you ever played with anyone that eats (and spits) sunflower seeds on the green? I hate having to sweep aside the shells knowing some idiot was rolling them around in their mouth perhaps minutes ago. Never had the pleasure of playing with someone that eats them but I have fantasized a few times about how our conversation would go.

Sunflower seeds have absolutely no place whatsoever on a golf course. Ever. Period. End of story.

People who spit sunflower seeds on the greens should be jackslapped with a golf club. A few years ago I hit a long putt and the ball hit a sunflower seed that I did not notice that lay about 20 feet from the cup. The ball went off to the side and I was left with a 15 foot 2nd putt that I missed big time, I was so pissed off at it.

If sunflower seeds aren't bad enough, last summer I played a course where someone just in front of me had spit out cherry pits all over the place. Thankfully, I didn't find any on the green. But the first one I found on a tee box made me curious. "What's this?" I asked as I touched the still-wet nastiness.

Not yet and hope I never do. But I have seen the shell casings at the tee box.

Happens a lot now. That and chew. I walk, and I pick up trash and carry to the next tee and dispose. Now I think I pick up trash and happen to golf at the same time.

What's the nastiest thing you ever found on a green? Last year I walked over to an unidentified object on the green of a fairly upscale public course in my area and it turned out to be a condom!

Scott Ayers wrote:

What's the nastiest thing you ever found on a green? Last year I walked over to an unidentified object on the green of a fairly upscale public course in my area and it turned out to be a condom!

Ha, ha ha! Someone fulfilling a fanstasy perhaps? Recently I found two unused condoms (in the wrappers) lying on the 11th fairway. Whoever the owner was, he is too optimistic carrying those on a golf course.

Scott Ayers wrote:

What's the nastiest thing you ever found on a green?

An eviscerated bird of some kind. It was there for nearly a week, and it really started to stink in the 100 degree heat.

Found a pretty big fish, caught and partly eaten by a bird that, in turn, had fallen victim to a cat or a fox. That was really nasty...

bkuehn1952 wrote:

Scott Ayers wrote: What's the nastiest thing you ever found on a green? Last year I walked over to an unidentified object on the green of a fairly upscale public course in my area and it turned out to be a condom! Ha, ha ha! Someone fulfilling a fanstasy perhaps? Recently I found two unused condoms (in the wrappers) lying on the 11th fairway. Whoever the owner was, he is too optimistic carrying those on a golf course.

Talk about a thread veering way off the original topic. I've come across the odd condom wrapper too. I'm guessing its more necessity than fantasy--young people, high schoolers maybe, those who still live with mom and dad. About those two unused ones you found--I'm picturing a young couple canoodling on a fairway in the dead of night. The girl notices the boys stash. She shrieks at him "THIS is why you brought me here? Ugh. You're so gross. I'm leaving!". The boy, his midnight sexcapade plan now in ruins, flings the futile prophylactics into the dark night, cursing his overeagerness and slinks off after the girl.

I thought everyone kept condoms in their golf bags!

A guy from New York visited Texas. When he returned home his buddy asked if he had any luck with the women there. He said "No man, when I saw the size of the imprint of the condoms they carry in their back pocket, I knew I didn't have a chance"

merlin3driver wrote:

A guy from New York visited Texas. When he returned home his buddy asked if he had any luck with the women there. He said "No man, when I saw the size of the imprint of the condoms they carry in their back pocket, I knew I didn't have a chance"

nice. you killed like 3 birds with one stone there, merlin.