Ok, this might out of place but this subforum is so dead who really cares.

Hackers.

That's right, hackers. Talking about the garden variety dullards who fill up muni courses everywhere. See for most of the winter I enjoyed the luxury of playing on a mostly empty course and what few golfers I did see in those times were generally tolerable. The cold tends to keep most undesirables at bay.

This weekend though I found myself on the course on a mild Saturday, and was kind of bitch slapped back into the reality of muni golf.

Most of the time I suppress the nasty thoughts deep in my gut but hey why not go ahead and use this forum to express how I really feel. Hey we are all friends here, in a sense. Maybe it can be therapeutic.

The gross etiquette of hackers is one thing, and that all has been well discussed. What I am here to talk about is the pathetic excuse for golf that people are playing out there. If you recognize your own tendencies here, then I am sorry. Chances are though if you are an active oober, you care about your game, you play by the standard rules (not your own whiny-baby rules), take it serious and acknowledge to yourself that you wish to be better and don't resign yourself to mediocrity.

Last weekend I saw too many people who stand over the ball too long, can't hit out of their own shadow despite being strong and able-bodied, hit at the ball with nothing but hands and wrists, can't make a short putt or won't even attempt a short putt, and won't keep score because they are afraid to face reality. Yea, all of these foibles seem pretty minor but for some reason they are irritating to be around and probably always will be.

Before anyone comes back at me with "Oh people are just out there to have fun"... Horse crap. The whole point of golf is to shoot for the lowest score. Enough of this modern-day, mediocrity-enabling claptrap. There is nothing wrong with being competitive with yourself and taking a game serious, whether it is golf or a friendly game of darts or pool or connect four or whatever. From what I hear, youth soccer and t-ball games these days are often played with no score and everyone who participates wins. That does not surprise me considering some of the attitudes towards golf I seen out there. "Ohhh I'll just take this mulligan because it would damage my ego to add a penalty stroke to my score, and we don't want that because after all, I'm out here to have fun, yay!!!"

The subtext to all this is not me trying to take a morally superior stance but simply that games are more fun when you play by the rules and when you strive to play your best. So if you happen to be such a hacker as I have described, then get a clue already or else stop wasting your time on the course and take up a non-competitive hobby.

I wasn't thinking you were being morally superior. I just thought you were being anti-social.

I find this topic a sort of truthful rant. I have been behind guys like this already and in fact, i played a round with a few this past weekend. It's horrid to watch and physically painful in some respects. However, one thing these guys did was pick up. Numerous times. The one guy picked up, i think, 5 holes at least. he was on one side then the other then the other, then over the green. He never did stop smiling though and it certainly looked like he had fun. That's ok with me. We didn't hold up anyone behind us at all and we all shared a nice round of golf. I think if people keep that kind of thought process it's all ok. The ones i hate are the people that say "i've got as much of a right as you to be out here, I paid my money and i'm going to get my money's worth!!" That's horsecrap. Everyone pays their money and they're held to the same rules. Official USGA rules, rules of conduct, and rules of etiquette. Including the 4 hour round.

I don't condone not playing by the rules. Personally if you're not playing by the rules then you're not playing the game. It's like playing solitaire and lifting up the cards to see what's underneath. Still, if it makes you have more fun then that's all you. For the love of pete though --- play by the rules of etiquette. It's enjoyable for all then.

@beef: I can appreciate your rant and I hope it proves to be therapeutic. I have similar dark thoughts at times.

you should beat those peoiple up!

birdieXris wrote:

I don't condone not playing by the rules. Personally if you're not playing by the rules then you're not playing the game. It's like playing solitaire and lifting up the cards to see what's underneath. Still, if it makes you have more fun then that's all you. For the love of pete though --- play by the rules of etiquette. It's enjoyable for all then.

I could not have said it better.

Who cares that others on the same course don't show a magestical swing, bomb their drives or putt like their balls are on rails? Do beginners or weekend hackers hace no right to be there when your majesty wants to perform his art?

As long as you don't keep everyone waiting, show respect for the course and to others, I don't care if you play within the rules or otherwise do not play on a competitive level. It is a social game, after all. Just don't expect me to play such an 'enjoyable fun round' with you if you don't play within the rules.

Beef, I do agree with you. Now I can deal with people who are new to the game and don't yet know or understand all the rules. I remember when I couldn't hit very well and was still learning the maddening rules of golf. As long as these folks are moving along and trying their best to improve and understand the game I can usually cut them a little slack. And while I now don't want to be stuck behind them or be paired with them regularly I can deal with them. It's the others that you mention, the ones who seem oblivious to everything and everyone around them and who seem to be out only because they couldn't think of something else to do with their time. Classic British golf writer Bernard Darwin called these people, "the dreaded men in front", refering to that mysterious group that slows down an entire course

birdieXris wrote:

I find this topic a sort of truthful rant. I have been behind guys like this already and in fact, i played a round with a few this past weekend. It's horrid to watch and physically painful in some respects.

Amen to that. I don't like when it comes to this because it is kind of a dick move but if someone is especially bad or their preshot especially torturous I'll look away when they are hitting.

This weekend I saw a guy in the group behind, who played all his shots standing a good 4-5 feet from the ball, all squatted and hunched over, arms outstretched to reach the ball. It was hideous. He would waggle for a good ten seconds before topping it down the fairway, all wrists. Of course then he'd get all angry at himself. I prayed to the golf gods for mercy.

Beef..I can tolerate beginners. We were all beginners at one time. I"m sure you suffered some of the same problems when you began. Perhaps I was the one behind you complaining about you. What I can't abide are the better players , the people that have years of experience that blissfully break all of the rules of polite behavior and slow up the whole golf course because they don't care about anyone but themselves. I saw one group from our mens club take 6 minutes just to putt out on a par three. These were all 10-20 handicaps. They plumb bobbed every putt, looked at the hole from all sides and checked the cut of the hole to see if the grain would effect a putt. The sad part is not one of them made a putt. In the meantime there was 2 groups on the tee waiting. I put them on the clock and told them they had one hole to catch up or I would make them pickup and move. They gave me so much crap that I finally called the pro shop and the head pro came out and told them they would be removed from the course if they didn"t pick up the pace. They caught up in two holes.

One thing I will never understand is why beginners do this to themselves. Yes, I was a beginner once, and I made the same mistake of playing a course beyond my abilities. It didn't matter what tees I played, my inability to hit the ball straight would have caused the same issues from every set of tees. It was the 2nd round of golf I had ever played, and I came very close to leaving my clubs at one of the tee boxes. After that round, I took some time to do a lot of research about the different courses in my area. I found 2 that were pefect for me, as a beginner.

One was an executive par3, with hole lengths ranging from ~95 to ~225. I still play it, usually my first couple of rounds every year are there.

The other was a wide open par 70 at a course that has 36 holes. 18 called "The Prarie", is exactly how it sounds. Wide open, some rolling little hills, but nothing too severe (except for 16 & 17). I haven't been back up to that course in a while, as I have improved enough to be able to get around some of the courses closer to me, and enjoy the day, and The Prarie is about a 45 minute drive away.

One thing I did learn is that alot of people play the par 3. It's packed every weekend, all weekend. I have played with every type of person you can think of. Older "snow birds" who play the same type of course in Florida during the winter. Dads out with their kids. Teens. I even played 9 with the head groundskeeper without knowing it until we were on about the 7th hole.

Don't get me wrong, this is decidedly not about beginners. I save my scorn for those who are past the beginner stage, who have well worn clubs, expensive bags, nice custom shafts and $300 Cameron putters, who act like they are hot shit, talk a big game, take forever to hit shots. People who wail at it with the driver and puff their chest out and start talking loud whenever they manage to hit a straight one, people who wait for the green to clear from miles out on a par 5 etc. All en route to carding some dishonest score in the 90's. I know this happens everywhere but folks keep in mind that I play mostly in Brooklyn NY, absolutely swarming with a-holes and stereotypical New Yawk jerkoffs. In my opinion NYC is a golf wasteland, a foul, barren wasteland, probably one of the worst in all the USA.

Beef, I visited NYC last month and the thing that struck me the most was the absolute lack of beautiful women. I swear I did not see a single good looking woman the entire time. I know there have to be some. By contrast, the following week I was in Key West and my head was spinning at all the scenery. One thing about it though, I dropped my car keys, and had to kick them all the way back to the hotel for fear of bending over.

merlin3driver wrote:

Beef, I visited NYC last month and the thing that struck me the most was the absolute lack of beautiful women. I swear I did not see a single good looking woman the entire time. I know there have to be some. By contrast, the following week I was in Key West and my head was spinning at all the scenery. One thing about it though, I dropped my car keys, and had to kick them all the way back to the hotel for fear of bending over.

Which areas did you see? Many people feel that NYC is full of beautiful babes, I say not so fast. It is about average, definitely lagging behind places like LA, Orange County CA or south Florida or even Tucson AZ. Women here tend to be more stressed out and career oriented I guess and some guys dig that maybe. Besides that its a lot of ghetto broads. Here in downtown models are a common sight but these high fashion models are mostly clothes hangers, too tall, too thin, too pale too bitchy. To me the better looking womens are the tourists and the suburbans who come in on the weekends to party.