I play often with two really great guys. They are both better than me - I have an 14 index, they both are "around" 11. I give "H. Abe" 6 years (I'm 56) and "P. Donna" 20. I really enjoy playing them straight up and consider it an accomplishment when I win.

Every once in a while, the wheels get a little triangular when P. Donna decides that the normal rules of golf no longer apply to him. OB? Play it like a red stake. Miss a short putt? Re-do it and then count the par when it drops the second time. Hit it in the pond on a reachable par 4? MULLIGAN! Then he wants me to help read the putt and high five him when he makes the putt & screams, "Eagle!!" that was, in truth, a really, really amazing four. Not a two.

And then there was that interesting hole where he flew the green and somehow stayed out of the pond right behind (and severely downhill) from the green. Hmmm. Lucky. So he breaks 80 and we're supposed to have a congratulation-fest in the bar after. Me? I figure 81 (forgiving the OB) and maybe an 83 if he used the foot wedge on the one that flew the green. It was an awesome 4 -- the one he calls, "his first eagle eVeR!"

I'd ignore the whole thing (there was no money on it) but like I said, I want to compete with these guys, but I don't want to do the whole gimme/mulligan routine - it stinks on ice and makes the whole thing bullshit. Also, they are great guys! Feel like an "enabler" if I just shut my pie-hole and give him the high-five for his freakin "eagle!" Rubs me wrong.

My wise wife says, "Needle him!" Which I shoulda.(Although I did manage to comment that it was a "Kentucky Fried" eagle, but what that actually means, I'm not sure.)

What do you guys think. Got any wise-cracks I can use next time we play? Or do I clam up?

Yeah...I'd call him on it. I'm kind of a prick that way. Now, you'll hear about it forever.

I'm not going to get in people's way when they start losing count of strokes beyond bogey. To each his own, right? Who really cares if some bloke shot an 8 or a 9?

But you gotta earn your scores.

Bryan K wrote:

Yeah...I'd call him on it. I'm kind of a prick that way. Now, you'll hear about it forever. I'm not going to get in people's way when they start losing count of strokes beyond bogey. To each his own, right? Who really cares if some bloke shot an 8 or a 9? But you gotta earn your scores.

Not a bad way to do it, I had a guy like that once and we were playing for money. On a short par 5 I let him know after my T shot I was taking advantage of his rules of golf and I was hitting 1 from the fairway. Thing got back in line pretty quick. : )

You could call it a pargle.

srogers13 wrote:

You could call it a pargle.

Love it. Conveys just the right amount of, "C'mon MAN!" sentiment, but in a friendly way.

Ask him if the golf rule book he's using was written in crayon.

SteveMM wrote:

Ask him if the golf rule book he's using was written in crayon.

+1

Good story man. What can you do except give him the needle and do it relentless. Unfortunate situation. Sounds like this fellow like many others who play golf has created a personal set of rules. He has his own golf world view. Without knowing the guy there is probably nothing you can do to change that. Wanting to play by the rules seems to come from within. But this guy definitely deserves to have his parade rained on. You are in the right without a doubt so don't hold back, be uncouth, be unmerciful, no blow is too low here.

Unless this guy is your brother in law or you are sleeping with his wife I would kiss him off. Playing with a jerk like that makes no sense. I once played tennis with a guy that foot faulted all of the time. ( Moved inside the service line on his serves) which is a fault. When I called him on it he said it was just a few inches so who cared.On my next serve I moved up to almost touching the net and served right at him. When he complained I said it's just a few inches so who cares. He got the point and never did it again.At least with me.

joe jones wrote:

<snip> On my next serve I moved up to almost touching the net and served right at him.

Nah. Way too harsh. He has his pretensions and I have mine. He is a good guy who is a prima donna. I get too worried about the next guy while he is too worried about himself. He's worth the trouble - guys you can share 5 hours at a stretch with are worth some trouble.

I have one of those really annoying pitch forks / stroke counters that make a very loud click when counting a stroke. I use it only when marking someone that clearly has trouble 'remembering strokes'. Works every time

[quote="jev"]I have one of those really annoying pitch forks / stroke counters that make a very loud click when counting a stroke. I use it only when marking someone that clearly has trouble 'remembering strokes'. Works every time

Ha-ha. Would have been good for my all-time fav P Donna sequence CLICK! - Drives t-shot into fw bunker on short Par 5; CLICK! - hits 2-iron into lip, ball rolls back into hole he hammered in the sand; CLICK! - he re-loads and IMBEDS the ball in the lip of the bunker; CLICK! - declares unplayable, pulls ball out of the lip , drops it outside the bunker (CLICK! CLICK!); CLICK! - hits it on the green; CLICK! - makes a long putt. "Birdie!" Hilarious.

Used to have this guy in our league that talked a good game, but from a distance didn't look any better than me, but always turned in really good scores. Finally got paired with the guy, we were playing the longer par 5 and strangely enough we played the hole almost side by side the whole length of it. I had a 7 and as we're walking off the green, I asked him what he had and he says par. I stopped dead in my tracks and called him on it, noting that we both had hit the ball the same amount of times and 2 putted out. He was embarrassed, muttered, Oh yeah, and got quiet till the end. As I recall we didn't see much of this guy after that.

It's definitely a tough line to walk. On one hand, if they really are good guys, you don't want to lose the camaraderie, on the other hand, you want a fair playing field. If I were you, I would just drop a casual comment. Say you play once a week. Make a comment to the effect of "once a month, let's play a 'tournament round' where we count all strokes, penalties, etc". Maybe put an extra buck or two on it. Tell them you read about it in a Golf Magazine, how it help fine tune the competitive juices.

if P.Donna balks and says you guys always count every stroke, than simply reply - cool, then let's go ahead and start "the match" right now. Keep each other's core, just like the pros do. By the time you hit the turn, he'll figure it out.

jev wrote:

I have one of those really annoying pitch forks / stroke counters that make a very loud click when counting a stroke. I use it only when marking someone that clearly has trouble 'remembering strokes'. Works every time

That is hilarious, windowsurfer ought to follow his buddy around the course with this thing. It's probably enough to send him into a rage.